Does Social Media have an Effect on our wellbeing?

The internet is a wonderful thing.  It was designed for the free exchange of information, across borders and without boundaries.  It has irrefutably changed life for the better by spreading knowledge, fostering creativity and encouraging connectivity. Social media is the driver behind that connection, helping put us back in touch with old friends and maintain relationships with loved ones on the other side of the world or just down the road.  It’s about sharing and broadcasting your life online, conversing with friends and strangers, but crucially in an always on and always connected manner. Mark Zuckerberg’s vision for Facebook centres around making the world more open and connected and whilst the ambition to get everyone in the world online is admirable, it is also suffused with problems. Twitter users tweet 400 million times a day, whilst Facebook processes over 500 terabytes of new data every single day.  It’s an unfiltered, cacophonous  world full of tastefully instagrammed photos of food and babies, trite status updates and spoilers to your favourite TV shows.  In short, it’s a veritable minefield of the banal.

The internet has made connection so easy that it’s taken for granted.

And yet we’re addicted to these platforms, a problem that the proliferation of smartphones has exacerbated.  On average, we check our smartphones 150 times a day, with around 50 per cent of us updating our statuses or posting content via them whilst we’re on the move. And herein lies the crux of the issue.  We’re used to constant connectivity so being deprived of it is causing what is referred to as disconnect anxiety, with people experiencing negative emotional feelings when they are unable to get online. The internet has in effect become such an ingrained and important part of our everyday lives that it’s having a very tangible detrimental effect on our well being. And yet recent psychological research, published in the Public Library of Science ONE, revealed that connection via social media, in this case Facebook,  can also have a adverse effect on our levels of happiness. What we’re seeing here is a consequence of the performative nature of social networks.  Profiles often portray an idealised, highly considered version of ones true self, which can engender feelings of inadequacy amongst those looking on.  A friends life highlights and milestones might seem a long way off to many which can make them feel as if they’re missing out or being left behind. In this respect, social networks can act as an uncomfortable mirror against which we unconsciously measure ourselves and determine our own sense of worth.  They are also a reminder of the benefits of true social interaction, aka meeting up with someone and talking to them. The internet has made connection so easy that it’s taken for granted.  Whereas Zuckerberg et al might idealise the strength of the virtual ties that bind us all together, the reality is that technology is gradually eroding away at the real value of what it means to actually connect with someone else. With that, the age of the digital detox might well be upon us, and I for one welcome the prospect of a week or so away from endless photographs of yet another delicious burger. source metro

Lessons to learn from your past relationships

The only way you learn to be better in your future relationships is by learning from the past. Here are some of the things that you need to learn from…

Communication is important

The most crucial part about any relationship is communication. If you’ve had fallout with your ex or friend over communication issue, then for your future relationship know that it is the most important factor in a relationship. After all, you wouldn’t want to repeat the same mistakes.

Respect is needed

Another thing that you need to learn from your past is that due respect should be given to your partner. This is a two-way process. You respect your partner and in turn your partner respects you.

Learn to let things go

It is very important to let some things go. The moment you try and hang onto issues that bother your relationship, you eventually end up falling apart. Not only does letting things go strengthen you as a person but it also keeps your relationship healthy and going.

Do not force

In any relationship, you cannot force the either person on anything. For example, if your boyfriend/friend does not want to go shopping with you, you cannot force him into it. This may create unnecessary tension between the two of you and end up breaking the relationship. If this has happened in the past, stay clear.

Relationships are a shared effort

Relationship is not something that should be shouldered alone. It is like a joint venture between two individuals. This is one of the most important lessons of life. Remember that you cannot make your relationship work out alone, you need to contribute to it equally. It is not that you have to chase, but you must show some sort of effort.

source Times of India*